How often do you see this? I guarantee you'd run out of fingers and toes to count. It's ridiculous...for several reasons. First and foremost, you're ruining my cinematic experience! I paid nearly 9 dollars a ticket, and throughout a slasher flick, I have to hear your 4 month old baby crying hysterically? Really?! Why?! Are you even watching it? I seriously doubt you're able to pay attention while shushing your kid, bouncing them up and down, getting their bottle ready, arguing with your significant other about where the baby's toy/bottle/spit rag is or who should be the one to take them outside. I've got a solution for you...both of you inconsiderate jerks should take your kid and bounce! And why are you bringing a baby to see Nightmare on Elm Street at midnight?! Shouldn't they be in bed? Two words for you: Red and Box! This not only saves you money, that you most likely need for your kid, but keeps you away from my peaceful theater. And if you're saying, "But Claudia, I NEED a movie date to live! I can't rent a movie! I just can't!" then here's my solution...you ready for it...it's good...wait for it...wait for it...GET A BABYSITTER!!! Groundbreaking, huh? And if you're going to tell me you just can't find a sitter, or can't afford one, then why are you spending your money at the movies to begin with? That stuff ain't cheap. I'm truly sorry if you're in a bind and simply can't find anyone to watch your kid, but have mercy on the rest of us who paid entirely too much to see this movie. Again, it ain't cheap. Lastly, I feel sorry for your kid. I see one year olds and two year olds being forced to sit there and watch gory horror films and that is just not right. If I'm scared, and I'm a grown woman who knows the difference between reality and a movie, how do you think your child is processing all of that? Then you wonder why your children are incredibly disturbed and/or scared of their own shadow, full of anxiety, and paranoid. I guarantee the same parents that take their kids to these movies when they're entirely too young to see them, are the same parents that tell their kids to stop being so scared of everything, and mock them for it later. Frustrates me to no end, I tell ya. Here's my bottom line: To ensure that you'll enjoy the movie, a long with the rest of us, keep your kid at home. If you MUST bring your kid to the movies, take them to see something intended for small children for sobbing out loud! Toy Story, The Princess and the Frog, Shrek, etc. I felt the need to give you ideas because I figure you're confused as to what a 'small children type movie' is. There you go. If your movie of choice is in no way shape or form similar in any way to the above mentioned, keep out.
