Baby Numero Dos

I am pregnant! I want to shout it from the rooftops, and tell any and everyone who will listen, but I’m patiently waiting for our first appointment. I technically found out 9/11/18, and by my calculations, I should be 6 weeks along. My breasts are hard & so sore, I’m super lethargic, and constantly ready for a nap. I miss having energy for sure! No morning sickness yet, and I’m praying I dodge that altogether this time; fingers crossed. I’m trying to just take this one day at a time, and not worry or have anxiety about weight gain or gestational diabetes possibly happening again. God is in control, and this sweet baby is fearfully and wonderfully made. It’s hard not knowing anything, and not being able to tell people just yet since it’s so early. As early as it is, my body totally feels pregnant. With Elena, I didn’t start having any symptoms until 6 weeks with morning sickness. I’ve felt exhausted & have had the sore breasts for a couple of weeks now. Bobby thinks this one’s a boy, but I’m not convinced. We shall see. I think it’s also weird hat I only really get hungry between 1pm and 4. Other than that, I’m good with a snack here and there, and rarely want dinner. I definitely think being pregnant in my 30’s vs my 20’s with Elena makes a world of difference. It’s also more exhausting because I’m taking care of a kiddo taboot. She’s been so great, though. My sweet girl is the best. She has been praying for a baby brother or sister for the last year now. Every single night she has prayed for this. My sister prayed for me when she was Elena’s age, and here I am! I love that similarity. She’s going to be such an attentive, loving, and nurturing big sister. This baby is so blessed. I know that my dad already knows this little one, and has snuggled with him/her in heaven. He won’t be missing a thing; he and my little baby are already connected. I can’t wait to see the joy this baby brings to our lives, and especially to my mom’s life. This is the ray of sunshine we all so desperately needed after losing my dad. I can’t wait to document this journey, and in one week we’ll have this nugget’s first sonogram picture! Stay tuned!

Mother's Day

Since my child has decided to take the longest nap in history, I've decided to blog about an upcoming holiday: Mother's Day. 

So, what are your thoughts on this day? Do you expect your husband to give you something? I can understand wanting some recognition from your kiddos (when they're old enough to realize this day exists), but should your husband be expected to run out and get you something?

You're probably thinking, "Oh...she's setting us up so we won't think it's sad and pathetic that she wasn't showered with gifts from her husband on Sunday. We're supposed to believe she didn't want anything; yeah, right." Well, I hate to break it to you, but the hubs (in his half asleep state bc the night shift SUCKS) did ask me what I wanted. I honest to God couldn't think of anything. I mean, I already get to stay home every day with our child, while he works the most random shifts ever, and rarely gets adequate sleep, so...I need more presents? Really? I had planned to see a movie with a friend during Elena's Mother's Day Out so I told him that was good enough for me. 

Is that weird? Should I want him to sweat and stress over spending $ on something I don't need? I'm no Saint, I mean, I love presents, but not obligatory 'please don't be mad at me' ones. Spur of the moment stuff is more fun to me; random surprises. Anyone with me on that?

Besides, while I still have a mom (which is a huge blessing in itself), I want to make it about her. Yes, I'm a mom and moms are awesome and hard working, but I don't want to be the focus. I just don't. I do what I love every day, and that's a huge gift. My husband sacrifices a lot, and for me to say, "What are you getting me for Mother's Day?!" is just plain bratty. 

I have a healthy little girl, and a husband who puts himself last every day for us. He lives to make us happy. The only thing I want for Mother's Day is to see my mama, and to tell her how treasured and special she is to me. Presence, not presents; that's what this day is about. Hug your mama close while you still can. God bless!

It's a Choice

Yesterday I had a pity party. In my defense, it's most likely due to PMS, but regardless--I was feeling sorry for myself. I was whining about my weight, whining about everything under the sun that I told myself were valid excuses not to work out or eat well. Woe is me, I said. 

My sweet husband listened to all of this. Not once did he say that I was being a brat or whining too much, he simply told me about a girl at the university he works for. He sees her walking the track every day. She is accompanied by her mom on these walks, and must use a walker due to her physical disabilities. She can hardly walk with the support of the walker, so her mother is there to help her along (as she also can't stand up straight due to her disability). She is out there every single day. She doesn't let her circumstances stop her, or define her, she chooses to overcome them and give it her all.

I instantly was overcome with emotion, and cried. My God, what problems do I have? How ungrateful do I sound? I have this physically capable body that the good Lord has blessed me with, the ability to schedule a workout whenever because of the blessing of being at home with my daughter, the resources to be able to afford healthy food...the list is endless. Bobby said, "You see, baby? We really have no problems. We are so blessed. All it takes is choosing to take care of yourself. It's a choice every day. You have it in you, and you can do this."

He is absolutely right. There isn't anything stopping me but ME. There is no reason for me to miss a workout, eat poorly, or make excuses. It all comes back to me making the conscious decision to care. It's a choice. I choose to be a conqueror in Christ. I choose to be grateful. I choose to be happy. I choose to TRY every day. I choose to be healthy for myself and for my family. That's the bottom line--it is simply a choice, and I choose life. 

What do you choose? 

When Are You Having Another?

You fall in love, get engaged, plan a wedding, get married, then BAM--everyone wants to know when you're having children. It seemed like we took FOREVER to have Elena (2.5 years into our marriage) in most people's eyes. I was happy that now we had finally appeased folks, and could enjoy our new level of adulthood. We were officially grown ups now. I am a mommy; someone completely depends on me, and it's the best feeling in the world. Fast forward to today (or last year really), and now it's "When are you having another? Do you want more kids? You can't make her an only child. She needs a sibling."

Here we go again. Insert the anxiety and guilt because I for one have absolutely no desire to have another child (right now anyway). I battle with this A LOT. If I were to get pregnant anytime soon, it would be solely based on guilt. It wouldn't be because our family doesn't feel complete, or because my daughter is asking for a sibling (neither of those apply here), it would be because I hear people say things like, "What if something happens to you and your husband, she'll be all alone." Jeez. Or "You'll regret it later and it will be too late." Aka "your eggs will be dried up, so you'd better pop another kid out to be on the safe side". 

Let me tell you why I don't want another. I'm not done babying my baby. I don't want to possibly have a rough pregnancy and delivery (my last was lovely). I don't want to gain weight on top of being overweight now. I don't want to be stressed out and frazzled (I'm just now getting confident as a mother of one). The idea of starting from scratch with a newborn who might possibly have colic or health issues like numerous food allergies or something much worse terrifies me. Our daughter is as healthy as a horse. She has never had anything worse than a cold. Granted, she was never one of those babies that was a "good sleeper" and she since day 1 has made NOTHING easy, but she's a healthy and happy kiddo. We feel super blessed. It sounds completely selfish, but I'm a little scared to roll the dice again and possibly get the sickly child who ALSO doesn't sleep AND needs constant attention (like my husband was as a kid). I honestly can't see myself juggling two children. The thought takes me so far away from any goal I ever had to be a stellar wife/mother. I'll be doomed to wear my yoga pants with holes in them going on 3 hours of sleep for another however many years. 

I dunno. I've never been (nor my husband) a "let's just see what happens!" type of person. I'm a planner. We are planners. It's silly because God ultimately is in control here, and we know this very well, but I just have uncertainty in my heart and to me--that's not the time to bring another life into this world. 

I sometimes feel like I owe it to my parents and inlaws to have another soon, or I owe it to the women that physically can't have children, but is that the right reason to have another child? "We had you because we felt obligated." That doesn't give me the warm fuzzies. We'll just have to pray about it. It's up to Him. Perhaps He will place that desire and confidence in my heart soon. 

But if He doesn't, I hope I won't disappoint people. Alrighty, getting off of my soapbox now. Elena is waking up from her nap. Time to spoil my only baby. :)

Potty Training

Well, I've been avoiding it like the plague, but now that Elena is 2 years and 7 months, I decided it was time to give this potty training a real go. Here's how today has gone. 

As of today, it's basically just an introduction. She's wearing pull-ups, and I have been consistently taking her to the big potty with her Bubble Guppies seat on it every half hour or so. I gave her water and pretzels as a morning snack (salty so she'll drink plenty of water) and juice with lunch (bc I know she will always drink all of her juice when it's offered). The first time she sat there gladly, we sang a couple of songs, and no pee. The second time she cried and didn't want to sit there at all. The third time she went begrudgingly, but was happy to sit there and sing 6 songs, but still nothing. She ate lunch and I took her again before nap. Still nothing. Between potty trips she would go in her pull-up (which internally frustrated me to no end). So...as she sleeps right now for nap I can see and smell that she's already peed in her pull-up. I will take her to the potty when she wakes up, and consistently after that until bedtime. It's only day one, so I'm trying to be positive.

Thank You, Jesus.

So, it's been an exhausting week. I had been doing well with counting calories and working out 5 days a week for two weeks straight, and then BAM--this week threw me for a loop. Aunt Flo came to visit a week early and my energy flew out the window. My dinners have been less than stellar (carbs upon carbs) and my housewife duties are piling up. Add in a trip to the doc for E (she's had a persistent cough, but thankfully it's just allergies), my best friend finding out she needs immediate surgery for a ruptured disc, neighborhood volunteer stuff (that I had to flake on bc Elena coughed so violently that she threw up on me yesterday), and no nap for Elena. Just when I was ready to break down and cry, after E had an accident that leaked out of her pull-up and onto her pants, I gave her a bath and after pjs were on and we were all resting peacefully, she climbs into my lap, looks into my eyes lovingly and says, "Thank You, Jesus, for my mama" with a big hug. Best week ever. :)

33

9/5/14
Happy birthday to one amazing man; my husband! I honestly shudder at the thought of where I'd be without him. Since the night we met all those years ago (as he ever so smoothly spied on me from the cereal aisle at Walgreen's while I pretended not to notice and work in the photo lab), my life has continually gotten better and better...and better. Seems like the moment I accepted that first date, my life instantly took a turn, and nothing but blessings poured in--he being number one on that list. First, he made me feel special, wanted, loved, adored, and worth something more than any guy (or boy) ever had. He was and is such a gentleman. He doesn't just say he wants me to be happy, he works through blood, sweat and tears to ensure that I am. There is absolutely nothing Bobby wouldn't do for his family. He proves that time and time again. The man seriously has the patience of a saint, I swear. I am by no means an easy "Michelle Duggar" type; I'm working on it, but I am nowhere near that! However, he always finds ways to show me that he loves me, acknowledges and is grateful for my efforts, and no matter how many times I fall flat on my face, he always has faith in me. He always encourages me, and constantly motivates me. He is a man of faith, he puts his family first, and he is who God picked for me. I am so thankful and grateful to the good Lord for giving me this man who I always feel I don't deserve; not because he has ever led me to believe that, but because there is so much good and purity in him--I just cannot fathom what he could gain from me that he doesn't already have. He is a man of integrity, strong yet so humble at the same time, and so incredibly selfless. Thank God for his mama; despite being young and probably terrified, she made sure to raise her son to be giving, hard working, honest, and to follow the Lord. That's not easy to do as a single 17 year old mom (and these "Teen Moms" today sure could learn a lesson or two from her experience), but she put him first the moment he was born. Because of that, he is a loving and devoted father today, and someone I am so proud to even know. Bobby has sacrificed so much for me, and for our little girl. The simplest things make his day, like watching our favorite shows together, or shopping together at Half Price Books for our daughter's collection, or just talking to each other in the car; we make him happy. When he is around his family, he is the happiest, and he is completely at peace. That is what made me fall in love with him; his deep love for family. He is so passionate and creative, and everything I need to be me. He makes me whole. So, thank You, Lord, for wonderfully creating this masterpiece that I get to kiss and hug and love every day for the rest of my life. Even though I know that he is really Yours, thank You for trusting me with him. He is truly heaven sent, and You knew the perfect time to send him to me. Father, I needed him more than I even knew. Thank You, God, for Your perfect and flawless plan, and for showing me every day what it is to be loved through my husband.

And happy 33rd birthday, my sweet love. "You and Me...Me and You."

Update

Bobby's car is fine, praise God! We took it to the dealership, they ran a diagnostic (which they waved the $100+ fee for) and turns out it was a problem solved by the recall repairs. Not a dime was spent on our end, and the car is running great now. God is good, all the time. :)

PS: Do not see Guardians of the Galaxy. That movie was DUMB. We even saw it in 3d and I was STILL falling asleep. 

August 5, 2009

Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary to us! It's been a busy morning for us with having to take Bobby's car to the dealership in Austin, having to pick him up at 7:30, hearing some not so great news about his car...all things that could have potentially put a damper on our day, but not to worry, we don't put our faith in material things. Despite that little hiccup, we hugged each other this morning and thanked God for all of our blessings and for giving us our health, the health of our family, another working vehicle, our home,...the list could on for days! Most importantly, we thank God that all things work for good, and that He always provides for our needs. 5 years ago, He brought Bobby and I together in holy matrimony on the most beautiful private beach in Honolulu, HI. I remember I hadn't seen it at all until that walk down the aisle to my soon-to-be hubby. I remember feeling like I was in heaven walking barefoot on that soft white sand, holding my Daddy's arm, seeing my family and friends with tears in their eyes; I could feel my Lord and Savior all around me. We said our vows as the waves crashed into the shore not too far from us, the cool breeze blowing through my hair; it was like God was giving His blessing on our union. My daddy said the most beautiful prayer through tears before handing me to Bobby, and after that I just remember that we both had a hard time making it through our vows without crying. As I type this, I'm trying so hard not to cry now. I told Bobby this morning that I felt bad that we didn't really plan anything for today except a casual dinner and a movie; no gifts or elaborate getaways at a B&B or hotel. He said, "That isn't what matters. We may not be great at planning celebrations, but we are GREAT at loving each other." I kind of chuckled as I thought he just wanted to earn brownie points with me, but you know, he's right. We have always had a solid foundation, and I have always trusted in our love for one another. He is more than my best friend at this point, he is a part of me; a part that I need desperately. We rely on each other for support, advice, a shoulder to cry on,... we are part of each other. I always thought that part from Jerry McGuire where he says, "You complete me" was super corny, but it totally makes sense to me now. Bobby completes me; he makes me whole. I praise God for finding my other half, and for bringing a man of faith into my life. We build each other up, we live to see the other person happy and at peace. We strive for the same goals, as a team. Now that we have a daughter, it's an even deeper love because we share the same excitement and concerns as we watch our baby girl grow. We have this silly thing we say whenever we come to a resolution after an argument or long talk where we look at each other and say, "Home Team". Then we give each other a quick smooch and resume our day. I am so thankful that we are on the same team, and that I can talk to my husband about literally ANYTHING without fearing judgement or feeling shame. As we get older, our love for each other keeps evolving and getting stronger. It's a beautiful thing, and I look forward to seeing where we are and who we are in 45 years to come. I love you, Bobby. You are my rock, my reminder of all good things that I strive for, my center, my home.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Such a Pretty Face

As soon as high school began, the insecurities about weight and appearance came right along with it. I was never an overweight child, and quite frankly, never actually was "overweight" until after high school. There was absolutely nothing wrong with my weight, yet if you weren't a size 0 and taking diet pills, something was seriously wrong with you. I wish I would've just enjoyed my youth, my healthy figure, had confidence. Now, I am what any doctor would categorize as overweight; some may even say according to some BMI scale I'm obese. I certainly don't see myself that way. It's funny that now, as FAT as I am, I'm beginning to care less and less what weight society wants me to be. I try to eat what's healthy for me, would like to be more active, but not because I want to be a "hot mom", but because I don't want to miss seeing my grand babies one day. I want to be a good example for my daughter and have her break the cycle of type 2 diabetes (that by the grace of God I don't have). I've come to the conclusion that I most likely will never be skinny, I most likely will always have some meat on my bones, but for the first time in my life I am embracing that. If my blood sugar is low, and (aside from what people may think by looking at me) I am indeed healthy, then who cares if my jeans are in the double digits? I was no bean pole when my husband met me, and he has never stopped showering me with adoration and compliments. There is no perfect mold for women, we were meant to look different. I may lose a few pounds as I up the activity and eat well, but know that my goal is never to appeal to society. My goal is to avoid being dependent on diabetes medication and to be able to keep up with my toddler. I've always hated when people tell me, "You have such a pretty face, if you lost weight you'd be gorgeous!" Gee, thanks. So, I'm a troll now is what you're saying? Ha. I'm sure they had good intentions with those statements, at least I'd like to believe they did. To God, I am beautiful. He sees me for who I am; He sees my heart. He doesn't want me to be insecure, unhappy...He wants me to embrace every second of this life because it is one blessing after another, and to waste those moments dreaming of a day that I'll one day fit that perfect body mold is insane. More than anything, I want Elena to see a confident and happy mama; a mama that loves the skin she's in. With that said, I love this body, whether you find it fat or not. This tummy was home to my most precious gift, and those marks are proof that she was healthy and growing beautifully. No more time of my life will be wasted wishing for a new body, a certain weight, a certain size. This is me, I am loved, and I am His. 

"You Were Born to Stand Out"

That's the popular quote: "You weren't born to fit in, you were born to stand out." Well, they almost got it right. I don't think we were born to stand out, I believe we were born to serve Him with humility. It's not about us. It's not about our purpose or self esteem, it's about His purpose and His will. Of course God wants the best for His children, there's no doubt about that; He wants us to be happy. Our happiness, however, shouldn't be the goal. That's the world's motto; do what makes you happy. Everything is for self, but God says to seek Him first in ALL things. If you want to be happy, don't seek material things or others' approval; seek Him. All good things come from God, and nowhere else. Any positive or intellectual thought you've ever had didn't come from your own brilliant mind, He put it there. Give thanks, be humble, and know that you would be nothing apart from Him and His love. As I get older, I realize that I'm becoming more and more unpopular with the trends of this world; I don't fit in. My opinions and my thoughts about modesty and humility aren't shared with the independent and aggressive women of today. The world tells them they don't need a man, they're better or stronger than men, etc. The Bible says that it's ok to lean on your husband for strength; the strength that God has given him. I enjoy making my husband feel needed, and like the strong provider that he is. He deserves to feel loved and appreciated after all that he does for our family without a single complaint. I enjoy dressing modestly and saving the provocative clothing for his eyes only. I don't need the world to see me the way he does; those moments are special. I enjoy the simpler things in life like playing outside with my daughter or going to a restaurant with my little family. I know it's not impressive to some, but that's my life. I love it. God has blessed me immensely, and I hope that He knows how thankful I am. I guess, to me, if the world isn't pleased with my lifestyle and choices, then I must be doing something right. I'm not here to please the world. So, I think the quote should read like this instead: "You were not born to fit in, you were born to serve Him." Have a wonderful day, everyone. God bless you in all that you do.

All of Me

The other day I was feeling sorry for myself. You know those "No one appreciates me" moments. It is so easy to get into those self-loathing ruts. I mean, the devil LOVES that stuff; and when I say the devil, I mean social media and media in general. There are funny ecards ranting about how ignorant and oblivious husbands are, songs about men just not knowing what it's like to be in our shoes, and people love to see those statuses about a crummy husband. You know what I'm talking about. It is SO EASY to get riled up and think, "You just don't understand!" It's the less desirable route and the more challenging to go to scripture and see what God has to say about marriage, about love, and about forgiveness and understanding. I often tell Bobby that God speaks to me through him because he almost always says what I don't want to hear in those moments. I want him to be the bad guy, I want to be the victim, and I want to feel sorry for myself. Honestly, though, when it comes down to it, I have no reason to. I have so many, MANY things to be thankful for, including my husband. We argue because he gets a certain tone with me, or calls me out on playing on my phone or watching a dumb show instead of doing something productive at home, and he has every right to. At the time, however, I am certain I have a reason to be hurt or upset, and I lash out. My husband works so hard for us, at a job that is not (or even close to) his dream job. I get to do exactly what I want to do, which is stay home and raise our daughter. Do you blame him for being a teensy bit annoyed that I didn't find time to fold that laundry? Nope. I read a scripture the other day about working for the Lord and not for human masters, and I should be. I should be showing my gratitude to not only Bobby, but more importantly to God for blessing me with this opportunity to be at home. It's not a bad thing to feel blessed and to shower your hard working husband with love and gratitude. It's not a bad thing to love being at home taking care of your family. Society has everything so backwards; stay at home moms are seen as these depressed, deprived, individuals when in all reality, we are (at least I am) on cloud nine! I truly love my days with my little girl. Being a housewife, however, I am trying to love. I am trying because my husband deserves my best. He gives us his best every day and every night (at work). I am not a great cook, I surely don't like to clean (who does?), and my decorating skills are pretty non existent. All he wants is my best effort; all he wants is to see that I care. Not just about Elena (that's obvious), but about him. Bobby's way to show love is through actions, and so by me giving this housewife gig my best effort, I am showing him that I love and appreciate him. It doesn't take much to make him happy, really. I'm just spoiled rotten. ;) I vacuumed, cleaned up Elena's playroom, cleaned the kitchen/dishes, cleaned our spare bathroom, and made his favorite dinner and he was elated. He bathed Elena that night because I "worked so hard and deserved to relax". He's a great guy, and I know guys like Bobby are rare. I also know that I'm a lot to handle, but he loves me and wants me to be happy. That in itself deserves a fabulous housewife. I'm working on it!


The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.Proverbs 31:11-31

Summertime

School is out, and that means I get to see more of my niece and nephew! We kicked off Summer vacation this weekend with sprinkler fun on the trampoline; Elena was THRILLED to say the least.

She and Sam spent most of Friday afternoon and today doing this, and they never got tired of it no matter how soaked they were. It truly amazes me how kids can have fun doing the same darn thing for hours on end. I'd better enjoy this stage while I can before the "I'm bored" complaints start, haha. We all had a great time with my family this weekend. Bobby's new nights off give us the opportunity to spend the majority of the weekend with my sister & her little fam when they come into town, which makes me very happy. I got to take my sweet niece to see a movie she'd been anxiously waiting to see (since she read the book it was based on). I knew it would be a tear jerker, but I had no idea I'd enjoy it that much! It was so cute, and I highly recommend it. There are very few simple and innocent love stories like that in the theaters these days; it was refreshing to watch something that didn't have a ton of foul language and profanity.

Well, I'd better join my family in the living room and wind down for the night. Thank you, Jesus, for blessing me this much; it is a privilege to be the daughter of such a loving and almighty God, and I do not take a minute for granted. Have a wonderful night, y'all. Hug your families tight, and sleep well!

A Whole Year!

My goodness! Has it already been over a year since I've posted anything? That's cray-to-the-cray! Well, it's fitting that I stopped blogging once Elena learned to walk; that little girl constantly has me on my toes! It's a fun chaos, though. I am so blessed to be at home with my child, I get to keep her in my safe little bubble a little while longer. Let's see, let's get you up to speed on my baby. She is now a whopping 2 years old, loves to talk, super affectionate and sweet, sensitive like her mama, and a ball of hilariousness & energy like her daddy. She's also a little daredevil when it comes to heights, rides, and things her daddy and I are huge scaredy cats about. I'm not sure where she got that fearless spirit from, but thankfully she has cousins to ride all of those lovely theme park rides with in the future. She is currently her dad's number one fan, and her face lights up with the biggest smile ever when he walks into the room. People ask me if that makes me jealous, and I cannot fathom how seeing my baby love her daddy could possibly make me jealous. I get it; he's super awesome! 'Tis why I married him after all. ;) My happiest moments are when I see them together. Two of the people I love most in this world, loving each other; how incredible is that?

So, as you can see, life is pretty darn sweet. Elena and I have a lot of fun together, and it truly amazes me how fast she learns things. She is big on singing, right now. "Lord, I Need You" is her favorite song, along with "Wheels on the Bus". She also loves to count and recite the alphabet song. She's a smart cookie, but I have to give God the credit for that. He has truly blessed us with our healthy, strong, compassionate, and intelligent little baby. I wish I could keep her this tiny forever, but time keeps on tickin'. Which reminds me, I need to hop on the potty training train--eek. I've been dragging my heels with that for a few weeks now. I don't know what it is, but I am not motivated! I think it's because I know that once she's done with diapers, she's officially a big girl. That's not easy for a mama to digest. I need to get to it, though--she's already plenty old enough, and those diapers sure aren't cheap. Whenever anyone finds that pause button, though, let me know! Until next time my dear friends & fam! Hasta! :)

It's Been Awhile!

And now that Staind song is in my head. "It's been awhile..." :) Ok, but seriously, it has been far too long since I've posted! So, most importantly, let me update y'all on my sweet girl. She is now WALKING! She took more than two steps on March 5th when she turned 11 months old. She had been taking one step forward here and there, but nothing more until that day. Then you could not stop that child! Today she is walking fast and so well. I cannot believe how big she is, and how toddler-like she is! She also talks a lot. Nothing you could understand, but she says what sounds like, "Hey!" when Bobby comes home from work (with a huge smile on her face), and says Dada at the top of her lungs all day long. She's hilarious. I absolutely LOVE that little voice of hers. She is the cutest little girl in the entire world. I'm so glad that she's walking so well because Easter is coming up in one week and I can't wait to watch her hunt for those eggs! Many, many pictures will be taken. :) She is also still drinking a bottle, and I cannot see myself letting that go anytime soon lol. She still relies on it for bedtime and naps. Although lately it requires a lot of rocking and bouncing to get her to sleep. She definitely keeps us constantly on our toes. We'll be saying bye to formula in a couple weeks when she officially turns a year old. :( I cannot believe it has been a year. Time flies by so fast and it's making me very emotional. Be prepared for a sappy post on or after her birthday. You've been warned! Even though she still takes a bottle, she loves her big girl food. She loves oatmeal with fruit and cinnamon, eggs, potatoes, mini pancakes, fruit (everything except mandarin oranges) and cold cut meat. She's just recently stopped wanting the pureed baby food; yet another thing that's making me sad. But in so many ways she is still my tiny baby. Mama is still number one in her eyes. :) In other news, I haven't been doing so well with Weight Watchers. So, my doctor's appointment came and I had lost 11 lbs, which I was so proud of, and then since I've gained 4 back! Well, as of today, I've lost 2 of those. Nothing to be proud of. February 1st, however, my blood sugar looked good and healthy, and she just instructed me to keep up the good work. I need to get serious again. Oh! I almost forgot! We're under contract for a house! :) It's a beautiful one story in Kyle; 1680 square feet, study coming off of the master, stainless steel appliaces, huge backyard, his and hers separate vanities in the master bath, separate shower/garden tub, great closet (which will mostly be mine since Bobby will put most clothes in his dresser and the study closet), and plenty of room for my baby girl. It's also fairly new; only 5 years old. It looks hardly lived in at all. I cannot wait to close on May 1st!!!! And I think I have updated y'all pretty well with all of that said. :) I promise to visit more regularly. God bless!

Oh these times are hard.

This song always reminds me of me and my Bobby. I feel like now that we have our little Elena, she has taken our focus away from each other, and that's why when we get the opportunity to reconnect on date days (like tomorrow--yay!) we fully take advantage of it, and like the song says, it's like we're meeting for the first time. We get to be ourselves for those few hours, not Mommy and Daddy. I cannot stress how important it is to have that time together when you're parents. It is so easy to just put your relationship with one another on the back burner when you're so busy caring for your child, and too exhausted at the end of the day to hang out and all you want to do is sleep. I have found myself doing this, and in turn I've been neglecting my husband. I love my baby girl more than anything in this world, but I have to remember my best friend and to also show him attention and love. These date days rejuvenate us and bring us back to earth. We get to talk and be the way we were before we became parents. One day my baby(s) will move out and move on with her(their) life(lives), and it will just be the two of us again; it's important to keep our relationship strong and the way it was before babies came into our lives. We are the foundation of this family. I have been blessed beyond words with Bobby, and I need to make it a point to show him how much I appreciate him. I can't just assume he knows. So, tomorrow I am so looking forward to some quality time with my better half. "Smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time."

The Best Job I've Ever Had.

I love my job. I am a full time stay at home mommy and it's absolutely wonderful. I don't want this job to end. I've been delaying the inevitable, knowing full well that one day I'd have to head back out there and help support my family. Thankfully I've been able to buy another few months. I was going to substitute teach one day a week, but now that Elena has been regularly waking up at 5am, I feel bad having Bobby watch her on his day off and not be able to sleep in. He rarely sleeps well since he works nights. Plus, I want to soak in this time with her while I still have so much of it. But I know I need to detach and trust him to watch her. It's just so hard for me to trust anyone else to watch her all day. My goal to finish the alternative teacher's certification process by March is still my focus, but I'm not excited about it. I'm trying to be positive and think that by Fall of next year Elena will be a little more independent and won't need me as much, but I sure will need her. I can't imagine leaving my angel 5 days a week. It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but at least I have several months to get used to the idea and prepare myself. I just have to thank God that I have my mother here to watch her, and what a blessing that is! I don't have to worry about her being cared for by strangers in daycare, I know she'll be with someone who loves her so much and will give her all the attention and care she needs. That makes me feel a lot better. I just don't want her to miss me, and wonder why I'm not there. My sweet baby girl--I wish she knew how much I love her. I wish she knew how her face brightens my world, and warms my heart. She is all that's good; I see Jesus' love for me in her sweet eyes. She touches my face with her soft little hands, and I just know she loves me. She's my everything. God has blessed me beyond words. We have such a good little girl. She rarely cries, if ever. God took all the good from me and Bobby and created this perfect person. She amazes me every day with how well behaved and full of life she is. She smiles and laughs all the time, and that lets me know that we must be doing something right. Being a mother is so much more than I could have ever imagined. It's a mixture of intense and beautiful emotions and moments that you wish you could freeze. I feel like my baby is growing at a rapid rate. I hardly remember her as a newborn anymore. I just know that back then we never imagined being at this point and actually feeling like we know what we're doing. She's just such a good baby, she makes it easy. Seeing her with Bobby has been one of my favorite parts of this whole journey. They already have a special bond that no one can break or replace. Her daddy can get her to laugh like no one else can. She lights up when she sees him walk through the door, and gets so excited when he says hi. He is the man in her life, and so special to her. They are so special to each other. His love for our daughter makes me love him even more. It's amazing how seeing your husband so madly in love with your child can make you fall in love with him all over again. I've discovered new depths of love for him seeing him as a devoted father. Just knowing that he loves her as much as I do, and that she is the product of our love for one another, just amazes me. It's such a beautiful thing. God is amazing. I know this is probably a cheesy post, but these emotions are just flooding me right now. I just felt compelled to spill my heart out and let it be known how blessed I am. I love my family, and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a mother and a wife. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us, and what God has planned for us. It's going to be fun, and I can't wait!

Dates and Dads.

So, yesterday we had a little day date while Bobby's mom watched Elena for a few hours. We went to Texas Roadhouse where I got a huge patron margarita (so good) and saw Taken 2. The movie was alright, but not as good as the first. This one was more of a 'feel good' popcorn movie. I was happy that it wasn't as dramatic as the first one because otherwise it would've made me too anxious thinking about my Elena. From a movie critic's perspective, though, they could've done more with it. All in all, I liked it, and I love Liam. He's a great actor and always plays the dad role well. He reminds me of my dad. :) There were parts in the movie where he had sweet moments with his daughter, and Bobby and I would look at each other with smiles. It's so funny how we view things differently now that we have her. A silly movie gets us all emotional. We noticed in the movie that Liam's character took his daughter on a date, and I loved that. Bobby said he can't wait to have dates with his little Elena. I think that's so important because girls should know how priceless and precious they are, and how to be treated like a lady from their dads. I thought it was sweet that Bobby anxiously waits for that day. Even though his work schedule is draining and time consuming, he savors the moments with his daughter. She giggles when she sees him walk through the door, and you can tell that she loves her daddy so much. There is nothing like the bond between a daughter and her father. He will always be her hero, and he will always be the strongest man alive no matter how old he gets. That's how I view my dad; he can defeat anyone and anything in my eyes. As strong as I believe my dad to be, our spiritual Father is 100,000 times stronger and completely invincible! He gives my daddy strength. He truly can defeat anything, and all I have to do is trust Him and pray, and He'll always watch over and protect me and my loved ones. So, if I took anything from that movie, it was the important role of a father in a child's life. My sister and I are so blessed to have our dad. He has always worked so hard to give us everything, and has always been there for us to give advice, guidance, and whatever we may need. Most importantly, he's shown us what true love is by loving our mother. I thank God for blessing me so much with my parents. If I am ever told I'm a good mother, it's because of the wonderful example they've set. And I plan to teach my baby what they've taught me; compassion, understanding, endless love, faith, wisdom, and so many other things. I can't wait to help God mold my beautiful daughter into a Christian woman, but for now I'm going to enjoy these baby moments while I can. I hope everyone has a great Sunday! God bless!

Love Letter.

This morning as I checked my emails, I got so excited to see that my hubby had sent me a love letter while he had some down time at work. It brought forth so many emotions and made me feel so good inside to know that he loves me that much. I read every word anxiously awaiting the next, and loving every single thing he said. I couldn't get enough. Then, after I reread it again, I went to my daily devotionals with today's scripture and it dawned on me that I don't get as giddy or anxious to read the Word of God. I don't feel special, and I don't have those emotions. I read scripture like it's a chore. I read it to say that I did it for the day, and fulfilled a duty. That's terrible, isn't it? Just then, I felt like God was telling me, "Read my words as though I'm talking to ONLY you." I need to approach His words with that excitement and make it personal. He IS talking to me, and He (like Bobby) wants me to know how endless His love is for ME. I can't look at His promises so coldly. He wants His words to penetrate my heart and give me that same feeling I have when reading a love letter from my husband. He is my everything, so His love letters (the Bible) should make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. His love far exceeds the love between my husband and I. So, my goal is to make it personal and read those words like they're specifically meant for ME, because I AM special to Jesus. He died for me, and His love is amazing.

Rolling, rolling, rolling...

Sorry for the inactivity here, but facebook and other mommy boards online had my computer attention. And 90% of the time I'm playing with, feeding, running errands with, bathing, changing, or holding Elena. :) I love being a stay at home mama. I get to spend all of the time I want with her, and with Bobby before he goes to work. It's been an adjustment having him work overnight, but it's so nice having him home with us until Elena and I both are in bed. Then he's there right when we wake up. I do miss him at night, but it's just the sacrifice we have to make right now and it's worth it for the promotion he got. I'm so proud of him! In other news, Elena is now rolling from her back to her tummy--woohoo! She's right on track according to her Week by Week development baby book. She is a little rolling machine now, though she seems to have forgotten how to roll from her tummy to her back. We've been practicing that lately. My sweet girl is so animated now! She babbles a lot! She says goo-goo and ga-ga, and oo and ah...it's so adorable. I love her noises; they are so feminine and sweet. She likes to grab my face and talk to me with this serious look on her face. Those are my favorite moments. It's as if she's telling me something very important. I love my little girl so very much, and cherish our time together. She and I always get special time together every morning while Daddy sleeps. We go to different stores, play with her toys, walk around the mall, and now that it's going to get a little cooler soon we'll be walking at the park in the morning. It's great exercise for me, and she loves being outside. I truly have been blessed with such a happy baby. She is always smiling and is just a joy to be around. Her face just lights up my world. I honestly can't even imagine having another child and loving that child as much as I love my Elena Jane. At the present time, I can't even see myself having another baby. Elena is my world, and the thought of taking the focus away from her for anyone is just unfathomable. I'm sure I'll have baby fever in a few years, but for now she is my princess and my one and only. :) I hope everyone has been having a wonderful day, week, and month! Take care, and I'll try to come back and post sooner than later!