Sometimes I wish I could see what the future holds. I wish God could give me a crystal ball with some helpful clues as to where I'm supposed to be going with this Psychology degree; should I pursue teaching or not? Where will I work after graduation? When will I get preggo? So many unanswered questions, but all will be answered in due time I suppose. I have to keep the faith and rely on God's unfailing guidance. It's just difficult to figure out where He wants me to go and if I'm following the 'right' path. Short term goals are good for this reason. I'm not good with long term goals, I feel like they're too hard to keep and there are too many unaccounted for factors. I'm good with goals that can be attained in the near future. I'm just so anxious for the future to get here. I have this idea in my head of what to expect, but you never know how God will have things happen for you. It's hard for a control freak, such as myself, to grasp. Let me put it this way-- I love plans. I get anxiety if I don't have a grocery list (preferably divided up by sections of the grocery store). I feel like so much precious time is being wasted wondering what exactly we need, and it's inevitable that you'll forget something. Bobby and I are the perfect match because we're both big on planning. We're not spontaneous what-so-ever. The idea intrigues us, and sounds fun, but when we actually try to be 'spontaneous', we're both frustrated and the fun day has ended. I remember when we were in Cozumel, we decided to just wing it and not plan any activities. We ended up doing maybe two activities the entire week and spent the rest of the time watching movies in the hotel room. That's how we are--if nothing is planned that's exactly what we'll do. So, this is why Bobby and I have trouble relying solely on God's perfect plan for us; but we do anyway. That's the great thing about prayer, it takes away all the anxiety and worry and gives you confidence again. God doesn't want us to worry, He wants us to give every concern and hope for the future to Him so He can mark our steps. He's making the plan for us. As much as I'd like to think I'm in control of my life, I'm not. My Lord and Savior is in control, and has always been. He allows me to think it's my own doing because He is humble. He has humbled me, though. I am NOTHING without His guidance and love. I'll leave you with this scripture from Philippians 4:6-7:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”
