C'mon 2012!

Well, I just realized what a terrible updater I am. Since I've been neglecting my blog lately, I never established whether we were having a boy or a girl, but... it's a GIRL! :) Miss Elena Jane Garcia will be the newest member to the family; we are so excited. Lately I've been feeling her move around in there; little bumps and very dull kicks every now and then. She's not super active, and if she is, I can't really feel it too much yet. She's been a good girl for mommy; this pregnancy is easy now. I feel fine aside from allergies and a cold, but that's mother nature's fault. Elena has treated me well. I haven't reached my pre pregnancy weight yet so that makes me happy. I'm a good 3 lbs away from it. I haven't been gaining at a rapid rate or anything so that's good. Hopefully I won't pile it on the last couple of months like some people claim I could. I don't receive that, though! I'm officially 6 months preggo, so only 4 or less months to go! I can't believe she'll be here so soon. That's insane!!!! I need to register and prepare for this little one. I've been procrastinating big time. I'll be back to update later. Probably next month, lol.

Up & Down and Round & Round.

Lost 2 of the 3 lbs I gained back so that's 12 lbs down. This weight rollercoaster is odd. I eat pretty much WHATEVER. The kid wants crap on the daily. Who am I to deprive my child? :)

So, it's FINALLY November and that means that we'll know THIS month what we're having. I can't WAIT! I need to start planning and shopping and getting excited. Believe it or not, it hasn't quite hit me yet that I am indeed pregnant. It hasn't completely processed. I guess since I have no preggo belly, I have no symptoms aside from always wanting food and always wanting sleep, and I haven't felt it move yet it isn't real to me. It's like I know I'm pregnant, but it's not as dramatic of a feeling as I had been expecting. I'm sure once I'm a big ol' watermelon it'll sink in. I just want my baby already! I am by no means ready as far as clothes, diapers, crib, changing table, formula, etc. go, but I want to hold my baby in my arms and sniff their sweet little head! I can't wait to inhale that yummy baby smell. I can't wait to kiss their little toesies and fingers. It just boggles my mind that he/she will be all MINE. It's insane. Well, I better bounce...I'm starvin' marvin. I'll be back with a blog update on November 22nd! :)

I like to eat.

I already gained 3 lbs back! :( At least they're 3 of the 13 I lost, though. I'd like to only gain back what I've lost during this entire pregnancy. We'll see how that goes. I've been in the 2nd trimester one and a half weeks and I've already gained back 3 lbs--yikes! I'm not showing that much, really. My belly looks more like a gut than a cute preggo belly. I think it would be more obvious if I was a twig before. I was a thicker girl to begin with so people are actually noticing my weight loss more than my belly. My sister-in-law patted my belly yesterday. I get a lot of pats. It's so weird because I totally forget there's a baby in there and I'm like, "Why are you patting my stomach?" Then it comes back to me, lol. When I tell people I'm almost 4 months, they look at my stomach and say, "Wow, really?" They never suspected I was pregnant, just fat. I almost don't want to tell people. Let it be told when I actually have a protruding big belly. I guess it's still pretty early for people to notice that I'm indeed preggo. I'm just ultra-sensitive these days and would love it to be acknowledged. In due time I suppose.

I made it this far!

The 2nd trimester has officially begun! Today I am 14 weeks preggo. I surprisingly feel more energetic today and have only gagged a couple times. I had a fried chicken sandwich and shared fries with Bobby and the baby actually allowed me to keep all of that down! Sprite helps so much; it's my go-to drink all day every day if I'm not drinking water. I have to munch on something every 2 hours or I'll get nauseous. So around noon I had the sandwich & fries, and now I'm snacking on some grapes. I feel fine. I love strawberries right now & unfortunately I don't think they'll be in season much longer now that Fall is here. Boo. Our next ultrasound isn't until November 22nd at 10am and I'll be 18 1/2 weeks along by then. We find out the sex of the baby that day! I'm excited! I just want to name this little critter already. I really can't wait to actually feel he/she move. I haven't felt anything out of the ordinary just yet. I'm still down 13 lbs, and haven't gained back any of the weight I've lost yet. I'm not complaining. As long as the baby's ok, I'm ok. I've read that weight gain really should start happening until the 2nd trimester anyway so all is well. I'm assuming I may have more of an appetite soon so that could be why. I'm rarely hungry as it is so I can't imagine just magically being hungry but whatever. I'm just relieved that the first trimester is over!!

Me & the little twerp.

Well, after re-reading my last entry, I have to admit that I AM feeling a little better than I did then. I'm definitely not throwing up as much, which is awesome. I've grown accustomed to eating super small portions and as long as I do that, I'll only maybe gag afterwards. Usually I throw up mostly water after breakfast, and get random feelings of nausea throughout the day. It's not so bad, but it's strange not being able to eat really. I've lost 11 lbs so far. Who knew that my pregnancy would be the best diet ever? I hope that I only gain what I've lost for the remainder of my pregnancy; that would be perfect. Portion control is key. Fruit is always a safe bet, but I even have to eat that in small amounts or I will indeed throw some of it up. Lately, as long as I eat like a bird, I'm alright. I can't eat anything super greasy in the morning or I'll be in trouble. It's all one big learning process for me.

As for the little one, he/she is in tip top shape according to our first visit with the OB. We got to see the super fast heartbeat and our silly little baby swimming around in my belly. Here's a pic:



That was back when I was 8 weeks 6 days. Today I'm 10 weeks 2 days, and I've read that already the baby looks a lot different. Now they have noticeable fingers and toes, arms and legs, and their little ears are just about done forming. My baby is just a tad bigger than a quarter at this point. Our next appt. will be the day we get back from Hawaii (October 11th) and by that time the baby will have grown a lot. I'll be 12 weeks 5 days. I'm so excited! A friend of mine just had her 12 week ultrasound and I couldn't believe how different her baby looked! It's completely a little human by then! It's all so amazing and surreal. I still can't believe a little person is in there. I think once I feel the baby move and my belly starts showing a little more, it'll process for me. Right now I'm still in disbelief. I do know that I already love this silly little baby so much. I couldn't be happier.

The First Trimester & the Joy it brings...

Nausea, fatigue, constant puking, feeling completely dead... yes this is the first trimester, folks. Every day I repeat the process of throwing up straight liquid (since I eat dinner very early for fear of being nauseous at night), eating breakfast just to throw up about a good 1/2 of it 15 minutes later, and an early dinner that, if I'm lucky, doesn't make me hurl but more often than not does. I take my prenatal vitamin at night, pray to be able to sleep, and always wake up before 7. That's about when my nausea kicks in. For the past hour I've been gagging and puking. I am now feeling decent, but this will only last until I eat breakfast. It's definitely not my idea of a good time, but the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that if I'm feeling this miserable, the kid must be healthy. People always say that symptoms are a great indicator that the baby is ok, so with how completely awful I've been feeling, this child must be on cloud 9 in there. I'll be 9 weeks this coming week and our first OB appt is this coming Wednesday the 14th. We are SO anxious. I just want this trimester to end already! I have another month to go. Lord, give me strength.

Common Misconceptions.

Let me preface this entry by saying that I love the Hispanic culture from the music to the food that simply melts in your mouth--it is something that I am very proud to be a part of. But it also comes with certain stereotypes. Most people assume several things about me, being that I'm Hispanic or 'Mexican' as they like to call me. Here's a little list I've come up with:

1) That I'm Catholic. While I have nothing against any religion of any kind, I am not nor have I ever been Catholic. I actually am pretty clueless as to what exactly to do or say at Catholic services; it's all very methodical and the thought of responding in the wrong way or kneeling at the wrong time terrifies me. I'm actually a non-denominational Christian. Some people have no idea what this means, so my best way to describe it is that I have faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, but I don't practice any particular religion. I am simply a Christian. Jesus is all I need. For this reason, I am not opposed to visiting any church belonging to any denomination because I believe that He is in my heart, and will be with me wherever I go. I like to think of it the way Dolly Parton puts it in Steel Magnolias--"God don't care which church you go to as long as you show up."

2) That I speak Spanish. This is something I wish I could say were true, but unfortunately I can only understand it a little. My Spanish is at a pretty elementary level. Anytime I go to the valley or even San Antonio people assume I know Spanish. It was hilarious when Bobby and I went by ourselves to Cozumel and everyone assumed we were fluent. Well, they thought he was white and that I was fluent. So they'd be rambling away and I'd just nod and smile. Bobby isn't white for those of you thinking he is, he's just extremely guero (light skinned). He has that Spanish blood. Both of my parents are bilingual, but never really spoke Spanish around me unless they were talking about something they didn't want me to know about. I think because my parents were discouraged from speaking Spanish when they were growing up, they didn't emphasize it for us (me and my sister). So, I pretty much know what I've learned in school and bits and pieces from what I hear in conversation.

3) That I'm a Democrat. No sir. I don't like political labels, but if I had to choose a 'side' it would be with the Republican party simply based on my conservative beliefs.

4) That my parents are uneducated. On the contrary, both of my parents are UT Alumni. My mother has a master's degree in education. This completely impresses me because college was definitely not something that my parents' parents encouraged them to pursue. My mother went to college despite both of her parents passing away, and despite not having any support what so ever. My mom is my hero for this reason. She is the strongest person I know, and knows what it is to persevere despite any circumstances.

5) That I love Mexican food. I love Tex Mex, and this is COMPLETELY different than authentic Mexican cuisine. Menudo, tripas, chicharrones, barbacoa, capirotada, molé, empanadas...all things I find completely revolting. These are authentic Mexican dishes. I'm a Taco Cabana kind of gal. I like bean and cheese nachos, chips and salsa, queso (if you're not from Texas please don't try to serve this because you'll always get it wrong), breakfast tacos...these are things I like.

6) That I'm gung-ho Mexican. I'm from America, folks. I'm the most patriotic person you'll ever meet. I love July 4th celebrations, I love the American flag, I love singing the Star Spangled Banner with tears running down my face; I am proud to be from this country. My grandparents weren't even born in Mexico; they were all born here. This is my home. I love margaritas and singing with mariachis just as much as the next person, but I am and will always be an American.

So, those are the most common misconceptions that I could think of off the top of my head. I hope I didn't offend anyone, but after years of people assuming such things about me, it's good to get the truth out there. I hope everyone's having a lovely Sunday with their friends and family. Adios, amigos!

Baby on Board!

That's right folks; I am preggo! We found out yesterday morning & practically 24 hours later I am STILL in complete and total shock. I keep thinking this is a dream; it's surely not happening to us. Bobby has had this facial expression since yesterday:



It is just so unreal. I've only been off the pill for a couple of months now and it seems like instantly we got pregnant. It's just so amazing. God sure answered my prayers fast! I just have so many things running through my mind; making sure to eat the right things, take the right vitamins, exercise, the delivery, providing for my baby, etc., etc. I've had butterflies in my tummy ever since we found out--I'm so nervous! I feel like Bobby and I are just a couple of kids. I can't imagine being solely responsible for another life. It's just crazy... but we can do ALL things through Christ Who gives us strength. I know we'll be praying A LOT. Yesterday was a complete whirlwind. We didn't want to take a test until I'd been late at least 4 days (which would have been Monday) but come Saturday morning we just couldn't take the suspense; we had to know something. So, we went to Walgreen's, bought a 3 pack, and came home with some take-out for lunch. The whole time we were eating I was thinking about testing... I hardly ate any of my food because the anxiety was just building up. I told Bobby, "I'm just gonna do it now--I can't focus on anything else." So, I did my business and seconds later those two lines were clear as day. All I said was, "Oh my God!" Bobby heard me and said, "What?! A baby?!" He then rushed into the restroom, me still on the toilet!, and I said, "We're having a baby!" as my eyes started to fill up with tears. He hugged me (still on the toilet!) and we both cried. He said, "Get up so I can hug you!" After that we composed ourselves and immediately went to tell our folks in person. I called my sister first and woke her up (it was only 6am in Hawaii), and I asked her, "So, would you rather be called Tia or Auntie?" She couldn't believe it and was so happy. My mama cried when we told her, and then Bobby and I cried again. His mama was in complete shock and immediately called everyone on her Contact List saying, "I'm going to be a grandma!" My dad wasn't home when we told Mom, so Bobby's parents rushed back over to my folks' house to see my dad's reaction. My mom had kept the news to herself (I still can't believe it!) and as soon as we walked in I told my daddy that we had some news. He knew right away when I said that and just smiled and said "Aw!" and hugged me tight. That day was one of the happiest days of my life. God is so, so good. I cannot wait for our first OBGYN appointment in a few weeks. According to my family doctor, I'm 5 1/2 weeks along. My due date is April 16th. So far this little 'tadpole' has been very good to me. I haven't had any morning sickness or symptoms just yet. I've still been walking with Mama every morning, getting at least 3 miles in, and I plan to continue that all throughout my pregnancy. I cannot wait to meet this little one. They are my entire focus now, and my love for them is indescribable. This must be just an ounce of what God feels for me. I feel His love stronger than ever. I'll keep y'all posted and post any news regarding my pregnancy. 'Til then, hasta!

That's Just the Way It Is.

We live in a world full of self-centered & selfish people. 99.9% of things people do are somehow beneficial to themselves. You might be thinking "well DUH" but I just now realized it for myself. See, I held on to the misconception that there were selfless and genuinely charitable people in this world, but really...we are all focused on ourselves. And even if you are charitable, you're doing it to make yourself feel better--you give yourself a pat on the back for being so charitable. Even with your children, you do things to be noticed as a "good parent"; you want that recognition. I guess I'm stating the obvious here, but it pretty much sucks when you grow up and see the world for what it really is. When you're a kid, everyone's good, everyone's trustworthy, your parents are perfect, and that's it. When you become an adult you see that everyone has faults, everyone wants to be liked, everyone has insecurities--everyone's just human. In a way it's a good thing because you realize that the only One you can truly trust, Who will never be selfish, Who will never turn their back on you, Who has NO faults, Who truly does love you unconditionally is Jesus Christ. No matter how my friends are treating me, no matter what disagreement I just had with my parents, no matter what beef I have with my husband, my God is for me. He is ALWAYS in my corner. And He isn't in my corner to benefit some selfish need; He is simply there for ME. That's amazing. What an incredible gift I have! To be able to completely trust Him, just like a child. To see Him as I used to see people before the world was exposed to me. He is perfect. He has no faults. He truly is charitable without needing recognition. He just LOVES ME. So, even if this world and all the people in it turns its back on me, I will always have His love.

So close...and yet so far.

In 6 weeks (technically 6 weeks, 4 days, and 15 hours) I will be graduating. I can't believe it! This semester has lasted for what seems like an eternity. I'm more than half way done, but I have huge assignments due before I can even think about celebrating. I'm working on my senior thesis, my independent study for Psychology, and 3 other classes. God has given me the strength to keep going, and because of Him I've kept my GPA up. I am so anxious. It is really hard to focus on the task at hand when all I can think about is being DONE. People say I should hop right into grad school, but I really don't have the motivation to do that; I need a break. I'd like to work and help my husband save for a house. We are so ready to start a family, and that is more important to me right now than anything else. My focus now is to work out every day and get in better shape physically. I know that being pregnant takes a huge toll on the body so I want to be prepared. My focus is to try to stop looking at what's ahead and focus on the present--all I can see is me walking across that stage but I have to make sure to take care of these last assignments and ace these last classes. It's a challenge. Thursday I'm picking out my college ring and picking up my cap & gown. I'm also taking my grad portrait. I just still cannot believe I accomplished something without giving up. I set my mind on it, gave it to God, and hit the ground running. Since the fall of 2009 I haven't looked back. I even had to quit facebook for this semester to remain focused. I promised myself and Bobby that I'd steer clear of that distraction until graduation at least. I just wanted to take a second to reflect. When I first went to ACC as a kid straight out of high school, I didn't realize the value of a degree. When I started working full time at job after job after job I truly had a profound appreciation for a college education. Thank God for Bobby. He pointed me back in the right direction and gave me a free education. He makes me want to be a better person, and that was one of the main reasons I was and am so motivated to get this degree. He is my inspiration. My children are my inspiration--the children that don't even exist yet. That's what I always think about when I'm stressed with school; I think about my babies. I can't wait to be a mother. I can't wait to hold my precious little angel in my arms and see what God has blessed us with, what we have created from love. I can't wait to see a perfect mixture of the two of us in that sweet baby. I love that child so much and they are only a thought--I can't wait to feel that love magnified when I see them and feel them kicking around in my tummy. So many wonderful things to look forward to! God is so good to me and my family. I give Him all the praise for every good thing in my life. He is the reason for my success, He is the reason for my blessings, and He is the reason I live. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me more than I deserve. I'll see you all on May 14th at 10am! :)

Small Goals

Sometimes I wish I could see what the future holds. I wish God could give me a crystal ball with some helpful clues as to where I'm supposed to be going with this Psychology degree; should I pursue teaching or not? Where will I work after graduation? When will I get preggo? So many unanswered questions, but all will be answered in due time I suppose. I have to keep the faith and rely on God's unfailing guidance. It's just difficult to figure out where He wants me to go and if I'm following the 'right' path. Short term goals are good for this reason. I'm not good with long term goals, I feel like they're too hard to keep and there are too many unaccounted for factors. I'm good with goals that can be attained in the near future. I'm just so anxious for the future to get here. I have this idea in my head of what to expect, but you never know how God will have things happen for you. It's hard for a control freak, such as myself, to grasp. Let me put it this way-- I love plans. I get anxiety if I don't have a grocery list (preferably divided up by sections of the grocery store). I feel like so much precious time is being wasted wondering what exactly we need, and it's inevitable that you'll forget something. Bobby and I are the perfect match because we're both big on planning. We're not spontaneous what-so-ever. The idea intrigues us, and sounds fun, but when we actually try to be 'spontaneous', we're both frustrated and the fun day has ended. I remember when we were in Cozumel, we decided to just wing it and not plan any activities. We ended up doing maybe two activities the entire week and spent the rest of the time watching movies in the hotel room. That's how we are--if nothing is planned that's exactly what we'll do. So, this is why Bobby and I have trouble relying solely on God's perfect plan for us; but we do anyway. That's the great thing about prayer, it takes away all the anxiety and worry and gives you confidence again. God doesn't want us to worry, He wants us to give every concern and hope for the future to Him so He can mark our steps. He's making the plan for us. As much as I'd like to think I'm in control of my life, I'm not. My Lord and Savior is in control, and has always been. He allows me to think it's my own doing because He is humble. He has humbled me, though. I am NOTHING without His guidance and love. I'll leave you with this scripture from Philippians 4:6-7:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”