Oh these times are hard.

This song always reminds me of me and my Bobby. I feel like now that we have our little Elena, she has taken our focus away from each other, and that's why when we get the opportunity to reconnect on date days (like tomorrow--yay!) we fully take advantage of it, and like the song says, it's like we're meeting for the first time. We get to be ourselves for those few hours, not Mommy and Daddy. I cannot stress how important it is to have that time together when you're parents. It is so easy to just put your relationship with one another on the back burner when you're so busy caring for your child, and too exhausted at the end of the day to hang out and all you want to do is sleep. I have found myself doing this, and in turn I've been neglecting my husband. I love my baby girl more than anything in this world, but I have to remember my best friend and to also show him attention and love. These date days rejuvenate us and bring us back to earth. We get to talk and be the way we were before we became parents. One day my baby(s) will move out and move on with her(their) life(lives), and it will just be the two of us again; it's important to keep our relationship strong and the way it was before babies came into our lives. We are the foundation of this family. I have been blessed beyond words with Bobby, and I need to make it a point to show him how much I appreciate him. I can't just assume he knows. So, tomorrow I am so looking forward to some quality time with my better half. "Smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time."

The Best Job I've Ever Had.

I love my job. I am a full time stay at home mommy and it's absolutely wonderful. I don't want this job to end. I've been delaying the inevitable, knowing full well that one day I'd have to head back out there and help support my family. Thankfully I've been able to buy another few months. I was going to substitute teach one day a week, but now that Elena has been regularly waking up at 5am, I feel bad having Bobby watch her on his day off and not be able to sleep in. He rarely sleeps well since he works nights. Plus, I want to soak in this time with her while I still have so much of it. But I know I need to detach and trust him to watch her. It's just so hard for me to trust anyone else to watch her all day. My goal to finish the alternative teacher's certification process by March is still my focus, but I'm not excited about it. I'm trying to be positive and think that by Fall of next year Elena will be a little more independent and won't need me as much, but I sure will need her. I can't imagine leaving my angel 5 days a week. It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but at least I have several months to get used to the idea and prepare myself. I just have to thank God that I have my mother here to watch her, and what a blessing that is! I don't have to worry about her being cared for by strangers in daycare, I know she'll be with someone who loves her so much and will give her all the attention and care she needs. That makes me feel a lot better. I just don't want her to miss me, and wonder why I'm not there. My sweet baby girl--I wish she knew how much I love her. I wish she knew how her face brightens my world, and warms my heart. She is all that's good; I see Jesus' love for me in her sweet eyes. She touches my face with her soft little hands, and I just know she loves me. She's my everything. God has blessed me beyond words. We have such a good little girl. She rarely cries, if ever. God took all the good from me and Bobby and created this perfect person. She amazes me every day with how well behaved and full of life she is. She smiles and laughs all the time, and that lets me know that we must be doing something right. Being a mother is so much more than I could have ever imagined. It's a mixture of intense and beautiful emotions and moments that you wish you could freeze. I feel like my baby is growing at a rapid rate. I hardly remember her as a newborn anymore. I just know that back then we never imagined being at this point and actually feeling like we know what we're doing. She's just such a good baby, she makes it easy. Seeing her with Bobby has been one of my favorite parts of this whole journey. They already have a special bond that no one can break or replace. Her daddy can get her to laugh like no one else can. She lights up when she sees him walk through the door, and gets so excited when he says hi. He is the man in her life, and so special to her. They are so special to each other. His love for our daughter makes me love him even more. It's amazing how seeing your husband so madly in love with your child can make you fall in love with him all over again. I've discovered new depths of love for him seeing him as a devoted father. Just knowing that he loves her as much as I do, and that she is the product of our love for one another, just amazes me. It's such a beautiful thing. God is amazing. I know this is probably a cheesy post, but these emotions are just flooding me right now. I just felt compelled to spill my heart out and let it be known how blessed I am. I love my family, and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a mother and a wife. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us, and what God has planned for us. It's going to be fun, and I can't wait!

Dates and Dads.

So, yesterday we had a little day date while Bobby's mom watched Elena for a few hours. We went to Texas Roadhouse where I got a huge patron margarita (so good) and saw Taken 2. The movie was alright, but not as good as the first. This one was more of a 'feel good' popcorn movie. I was happy that it wasn't as dramatic as the first one because otherwise it would've made me too anxious thinking about my Elena. From a movie critic's perspective, though, they could've done more with it. All in all, I liked it, and I love Liam. He's a great actor and always plays the dad role well. He reminds me of my dad. :) There were parts in the movie where he had sweet moments with his daughter, and Bobby and I would look at each other with smiles. It's so funny how we view things differently now that we have her. A silly movie gets us all emotional. We noticed in the movie that Liam's character took his daughter on a date, and I loved that. Bobby said he can't wait to have dates with his little Elena. I think that's so important because girls should know how priceless and precious they are, and how to be treated like a lady from their dads. I thought it was sweet that Bobby anxiously waits for that day. Even though his work schedule is draining and time consuming, he savors the moments with his daughter. She giggles when she sees him walk through the door, and you can tell that she loves her daddy so much. There is nothing like the bond between a daughter and her father. He will always be her hero, and he will always be the strongest man alive no matter how old he gets. That's how I view my dad; he can defeat anyone and anything in my eyes. As strong as I believe my dad to be, our spiritual Father is 100,000 times stronger and completely invincible! He gives my daddy strength. He truly can defeat anything, and all I have to do is trust Him and pray, and He'll always watch over and protect me and my loved ones. So, if I took anything from that movie, it was the important role of a father in a child's life. My sister and I are so blessed to have our dad. He has always worked so hard to give us everything, and has always been there for us to give advice, guidance, and whatever we may need. Most importantly, he's shown us what true love is by loving our mother. I thank God for blessing me so much with my parents. If I am ever told I'm a good mother, it's because of the wonderful example they've set. And I plan to teach my baby what they've taught me; compassion, understanding, endless love, faith, wisdom, and so many other things. I can't wait to help God mold my beautiful daughter into a Christian woman, but for now I'm going to enjoy these baby moments while I can. I hope everyone has a great Sunday! God bless!

Love Letter.

This morning as I checked my emails, I got so excited to see that my hubby had sent me a love letter while he had some down time at work. It brought forth so many emotions and made me feel so good inside to know that he loves me that much. I read every word anxiously awaiting the next, and loving every single thing he said. I couldn't get enough. Then, after I reread it again, I went to my daily devotionals with today's scripture and it dawned on me that I don't get as giddy or anxious to read the Word of God. I don't feel special, and I don't have those emotions. I read scripture like it's a chore. I read it to say that I did it for the day, and fulfilled a duty. That's terrible, isn't it? Just then, I felt like God was telling me, "Read my words as though I'm talking to ONLY you." I need to approach His words with that excitement and make it personal. He IS talking to me, and He (like Bobby) wants me to know how endless His love is for ME. I can't look at His promises so coldly. He wants His words to penetrate my heart and give me that same feeling I have when reading a love letter from my husband. He is my everything, so His love letters (the Bible) should make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. His love far exceeds the love between my husband and I. So, my goal is to make it personal and read those words like they're specifically meant for ME, because I AM special to Jesus. He died for me, and His love is amazing.

Rolling, rolling, rolling...

Sorry for the inactivity here, but facebook and other mommy boards online had my computer attention. And 90% of the time I'm playing with, feeding, running errands with, bathing, changing, or holding Elena. :) I love being a stay at home mama. I get to spend all of the time I want with her, and with Bobby before he goes to work. It's been an adjustment having him work overnight, but it's so nice having him home with us until Elena and I both are in bed. Then he's there right when we wake up. I do miss him at night, but it's just the sacrifice we have to make right now and it's worth it for the promotion he got. I'm so proud of him! In other news, Elena is now rolling from her back to her tummy--woohoo! She's right on track according to her Week by Week development baby book. She is a little rolling machine now, though she seems to have forgotten how to roll from her tummy to her back. We've been practicing that lately. My sweet girl is so animated now! She babbles a lot! She says goo-goo and ga-ga, and oo and ah...it's so adorable. I love her noises; they are so feminine and sweet. She likes to grab my face and talk to me with this serious look on her face. Those are my favorite moments. It's as if she's telling me something very important. I love my little girl so very much, and cherish our time together. She and I always get special time together every morning while Daddy sleeps. We go to different stores, play with her toys, walk around the mall, and now that it's going to get a little cooler soon we'll be walking at the park in the morning. It's great exercise for me, and she loves being outside. I truly have been blessed with such a happy baby. She is always smiling and is just a joy to be around. Her face just lights up my world. I honestly can't even imagine having another child and loving that child as much as I love my Elena Jane. At the present time, I can't even see myself having another baby. Elena is my world, and the thought of taking the focus away from her for anyone is just unfathomable. I'm sure I'll have baby fever in a few years, but for now she is my princess and my one and only. :) I hope everyone has been having a wonderful day, week, and month! Take care, and I'll try to come back and post sooner than later!

His hands.

Today as Bobby was holding my hand while we were both relaxing on the couch while Elena took a nap, I sat there and realized how important those hands have been to me. The first time I held his hand was on our first date December 17th, 2005 at the Trail of Lights as we first walked in, and right after he gave me his jacket to wear. I remember the instant our hands touched I fell in love with that touch. Our hands belonged together, and I didn't want to let go. Since then, I've held his hand as he proposed to me in that very spot, as we flew to Hawaii to get married, as we said our vows on the most beautiful island, walking down the aisle after saying 'I do', during our first dance, during the birth of our daughter, and numerous times in between and since. And after all of that, those hands still bring me so much comfort and bring me back home once they're met with mine. As long as I have his hand to hold, I will always feel at peace and loved. I am so blessed, and I love my husband so very much.

I hate shots.

I've never been one to be afraid to get shots or give blood, but when it comes to my baby, shots are the enemy. My sweet girl was so good yesterday at her 4 month checkup. Even after getting 3 shots, she only cried for 5 seconds and drank her bottle right away. She was so happy when we got there, and was just smiling at the doctor and nurses. My little angel has a heart for Jesus and just makes my heart sing. I was so proud of her. It was hard seeing her dealing with the side effects from the shots yesterday, and not being able to do anything but hold her and give her baby Tylenol. Last night she had a fever and was so lethargic and out of it. I had to step away while Bobby rocked her back to sleep because her droopy eyes and half smile at me just broke my heart. She was even trying to be happy despite feeling terrible. After giving her medicine and holding her, she finally fell back to sleep. I'm happy to say that at 6:30 her fever had broken and she was acting like her normal self again. Praise You, Jesus! I kept praying and praying and the Lord healed my baby. I do not look forward to taking her again in 2 months, that's for sure. I just wish I could get the shots for her, and absorb any pain. I'm so protective over my baby girl. I don't want anything to harm her, ever. She's just so precious and innocent. Being a mother is very humbling. You realize more and more how much control you're really lacking, and how much control God has. All I can do is lift her up to Him and pray for her every day. She is His baby, and He is just trusting me with her for now. It's very hard relinquishing that control, even to Him. But you realize that you were never in control to begin with, it's always been Him. I cannot protect her from everything, but He can. My faith has grown so much since having my daughter. I give God all the glory for giving me such a perfect baby. Aside from her shots, Elena also was weighed and measured. She is now 16.2 lbs, and 25 inches long! I think my baby is going to be tall like her grandpa. And the doctor said her legs were so strong. She said they looked like swimmer's legs. :) That made Bobby so happy! lol. I guess she's going to be a little fish like her daddy. Here's an after shots pic of her. We gave her her bottle right after and she was as happy as ever.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day! God bless you all!

Today.

Today is a special day. Today, 3 years ago, I married my best friend. Loving this man is the easiest thing I've ever done; he makes it easy. He is so different than any guy I've ever known, and God knew I wouldn't be smart enough to pick him out for myself, so He brought him to me. I thank Him every day for blessing me so much and showing me what true love really is, and what it really is to BE loved. I always tell Bobby that he breathed new life into me. He brought me back to life just by loving me. I can't imagine where I'd be or who I'd be without him; I don't want to. Thank you, sweet Jesus, for blessing me with my husband. His patience, understanding, compassion, and eagerness to give his family everything are just some of the reasons he is such an amazing person. He works so hard to provide for us, and never complains. He just wants to see his girls happy. That is a true man. I can't wait to celebrate 47 more years with him by my side. I love you, Bobby. "Through chaos as it swirls, it's us against the world."

I Won't Give Up.

My latest dedication to my Bobby. No matter what's going on in our lives, or what obstacles we may be facing, I'm always here and I'll never give up. As long as I have him, I'm complete.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my sister's birthday and I just wanted to take a moment to say how blessed I am to have her in my life. For as long as I can remember she's been there for me from waking up at 5am to play Barbies with me in her room, letting me sleep in her bed when I was scared, making french braids for me and helping me do my hair, making fun sleepovers at her apartment for me and my friends, planning my entire wedding, making my baby shower perfect, to being the best aunt to my baby girl. She has been not only my sister but one of my best friends. I have looked up to her since I was just a little girl, and have always thought that she was invincible. She takes after my mama; she's strong and independent and has such a beautiful heart. Her babies are so incredibly lucky to have her in their lives. I know I am. She teaches me what it is to be a good daughter, wife, and mother. If I ever am told that I'm a good mother, it's because I've had her and my mama to look up to. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay my sister for all that she's done for me. There is nothing that she wouldn't do for our family. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me my sissy. I hope you have a wonderful day, Lauri, and I can't wait to celebrate with you this weekend! I love you! Here's a picture of my beautiful sister with my baby girl:

Chick Fil A and a Playdate

Today was fun for Miss Elena. She had her very first playdate with a baby girl a couple of weeks younger than her named Harper. Her mommy and I met on a mommy board online and when we realized we lived so close to one another we decided to meet up. Today was Appreciation Day at Chick Fil A so we decided today would be the perfect day to have the girls meet, and eat some yummy food while we were at it. :) Here are a couple of pics from their playdate. Both girls were exhausted from the car ride there (Harper lives in Jarrel, TX and we drove probably a good 30 mins from our home to get there).

It was a good visit, and I'm glad I got to meet Ashley in person. I'm glad I have a mommy friend close by with a baby girl the same age as Elena, and with a husband who is also a police officer. Well, I'd better go to bed while I can. Elena has been asleep for about 30 minutes now. I hope everyone is having a great week! God bless.

Lately.

Well, Bobby's weekend started yesterday so we had a 'date day' while Elena spent some time with my inlaws. She had a blast. They said she was laughing and talking the entire time. When we went to pick her up she was just SO entertained by my father-in-law; she kept laughing at him, it was so cute. She passed out the second we got home. Our date day was fun. We ate at Longhorn Steakhouse and went to see Ted. Pretty raunchy movie, but it was funny. Probably a renter, though. I think for our next date day we'll just stay home and sleep, lol. Here are a few pictures of my little princess: This one is before bath time. She gets SO excited when she hears the water running. She loves bath time.

This is while she's watching Blue's Clues. I can't get her attention when a good show is on. :)

And here she is with Daddy before work. She loves him so much.

I'd better go make breakfast before my other baby wakes up. ;) I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Claudia Time.

I love my mornings. When Elena goes down for her first nap, and Bobby is still sleeping, I have a good 30-40 minutes just to myself; to blog, catch up on my shows (Dallas is on right now), and just relax. The first thing I do is read my daily devotionals, that is the most important part of my day. After my meditation with the Lord, I enjoy the quiet. Being a SAHM is wonderful and such a blessing, but it leaves little time to myself. I don't get a day off from my job, so these few minutes in the morning are where I refuel for the day ahead. The main thing on my mind currently is the sergeant position my Bobby applied for. He is so deserving of this job. He not only has given St Ed's nearly 10 years, but he works so very hard. He gets along with everyone there and would shine as a supervisor/sergeant. We found out yesterday that it's between Bobby and an officer from outside of the department. While this other guy looks great on paper (army reserve, worked at Mary Hardin Baylor, instructor, etc.), he doesn't know anything about St. Edward's. He hasn't invested time and energy there like my husband has. Bobby has his master's degree, is a master officer, is a certified intructor in various areas, and knows St. Edward's like the back of his hand. He is also close to the officers there already, and they respect him. I just feel like it would be in their best interest to hire someone that already knows the campus and protocol. Why bring a stranger in just because he had a good interview? Bobby heard through the grapevine that he had a wonderful interview as well, so it's a tough decision for them. To me, it's no contest, Bobby is the perfect fit, but it's in God's hands. We may think we know what's best for our family, but only God knows what's around the next corner. We're trusting in His flawless and perfect plan for our family, no matter what St. Ed's decides. If they don't give Bobby this position then we're going to pursue Buda PD because they're so anxious to have him there. We shall see. Our hope is that they let him know today what they've decided. Keep us in your prayers, y'all. Have a blessed day!

Too Fast.

My little Elena is growing so fast and it's making me a little emotional. On Sunday Bobby and I were at my parents' house while they're out of town to water their plants, and we came across old photos from when my sister and I were babies. I got teary eyed just thinking about how my mom must have never imagined we'd be this age and with our own babies, no less! She probably was in my same position, wanting us to stay babies forever. I can't even picture Elena as a grown woman, or even any older than she is now. She's my innocent little baby, and I wish I could shield her from the world and protect her in my arms always. I just have to remember that she WILL be shielded by the blood of Jesus; He will never leave her. Even if I'm not around one day, He will always be there to protect her. That is such a comforting feeling for a mama. Knowing that no matter what, our children are protected by Jesus Christ. No weapon formed against them shall prosper. I try to make it a point to read scripture to her every morning, whether it's from her Baby Bible or from my own daily devotionals I receive. I just want her to absorb those words, even if right now it doesn't make any sense to her; someday it will, and someday she will be able to use those words against moments of weakness or any evil that may face her. It's my responsibility to arm her for battle. Sounds dramatic, but we do battle evil in this world every day as Christians. I'm not doing my best as a mom if I don't feed her that scripture that will protect her and nourish her soul. I just pray that I'm guiding her right and that I'm the best I can be for her. I worry sometimes about her future, but then I immediately have to pray that worry right out of my mind. As a mother, it's impossible not to worry, though. You automatically become a neurotic mess the minute they're born! You just wish you could put your baby in a protective bubble where there's no sickness or pain. But, Jesus is protecting my baby from sickness and pain. Even if I feel helpless sometimes, He's got enough strength for the both of us. Well, it's time to put this little one down for a nap. She's getting tired of her playmat. I hope everyone has a blessed day, and be sure to let your babies know how much they're loved! :)

Anticipation.

So now we're a mere 10 days away from meeting miss Elena. Due to me having gestational diabetes and Elena measuring 3 weeks ahead (at least according to her ultrasounds), I'll be induced April 6th--at 38 weeks exactly. We've been going to weekly appointments with a dietician and perinatologist to check amniotic fluid levels, baby's activity, my blood sugar levels, and every 3 weeks we get a growth scan. It's been pretty cool to be able to see her on a weekly basis, but now I'm ready to see her outside of my belly already. Waiting for April 6th to get here is a huge snooze fest---I am constantly thinking about next Friday and am so anxious. Everything has been washed and put away; her carseat, crib, and stroller are ready to go...all we need is a baby to fill them. The only things I need to do are sterilize her bottles, but that'll take me no time at all. Our hospital bag is ready to go, too. I've been sitting at 3cm dilated and 50% effaced for over a week now. I'll be checked again on Friday. The doc said that's awesome for induction. I'm praying for a smooth and short labor process. Whatever happens, though, I am 100% ready to meet my daughter and hold her. I can't wait to officially be a mommy!