The Best Job I've Ever Had.

I love my job. I am a full time stay at home mommy and it's absolutely wonderful. I don't want this job to end. I've been delaying the inevitable, knowing full well that one day I'd have to head back out there and help support my family. Thankfully I've been able to buy another few months. I was going to substitute teach one day a week, but now that Elena has been regularly waking up at 5am, I feel bad having Bobby watch her on his day off and not be able to sleep in. He rarely sleeps well since he works nights. Plus, I want to soak in this time with her while I still have so much of it. But I know I need to detach and trust him to watch her. It's just so hard for me to trust anyone else to watch her all day. My goal to finish the alternative teacher's certification process by March is still my focus, but I'm not excited about it. I'm trying to be positive and think that by Fall of next year Elena will be a little more independent and won't need me as much, but I sure will need her. I can't imagine leaving my angel 5 days a week. It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but at least I have several months to get used to the idea and prepare myself. I just have to thank God that I have my mother here to watch her, and what a blessing that is! I don't have to worry about her being cared for by strangers in daycare, I know she'll be with someone who loves her so much and will give her all the attention and care she needs. That makes me feel a lot better. I just don't want her to miss me, and wonder why I'm not there. My sweet baby girl--I wish she knew how much I love her. I wish she knew how her face brightens my world, and warms my heart. She is all that's good; I see Jesus' love for me in her sweet eyes. She touches my face with her soft little hands, and I just know she loves me. She's my everything. God has blessed me beyond words. We have such a good little girl. She rarely cries, if ever. God took all the good from me and Bobby and created this perfect person. She amazes me every day with how well behaved and full of life she is. She smiles and laughs all the time, and that lets me know that we must be doing something right. Being a mother is so much more than I could have ever imagined. It's a mixture of intense and beautiful emotions and moments that you wish you could freeze. I feel like my baby is growing at a rapid rate. I hardly remember her as a newborn anymore. I just know that back then we never imagined being at this point and actually feeling like we know what we're doing. She's just such a good baby, she makes it easy. Seeing her with Bobby has been one of my favorite parts of this whole journey. They already have a special bond that no one can break or replace. Her daddy can get her to laugh like no one else can. She lights up when she sees him walk through the door, and gets so excited when he says hi. He is the man in her life, and so special to her. They are so special to each other. His love for our daughter makes me love him even more. It's amazing how seeing your husband so madly in love with your child can make you fall in love with him all over again. I've discovered new depths of love for him seeing him as a devoted father. Just knowing that he loves her as much as I do, and that she is the product of our love for one another, just amazes me. It's such a beautiful thing. God is amazing. I know this is probably a cheesy post, but these emotions are just flooding me right now. I just felt compelled to spill my heart out and let it be known how blessed I am. I love my family, and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a mother and a wife. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us, and what God has planned for us. It's going to be fun, and I can't wait!