All of Me

The other day I was feeling sorry for myself. You know those "No one appreciates me" moments. It is so easy to get into those self-loathing ruts. I mean, the devil LOVES that stuff; and when I say the devil, I mean social media and media in general. There are funny ecards ranting about how ignorant and oblivious husbands are, songs about men just not knowing what it's like to be in our shoes, and people love to see those statuses about a crummy husband. You know what I'm talking about. It is SO EASY to get riled up and think, "You just don't understand!" It's the less desirable route and the more challenging to go to scripture and see what God has to say about marriage, about love, and about forgiveness and understanding. I often tell Bobby that God speaks to me through him because he almost always says what I don't want to hear in those moments. I want him to be the bad guy, I want to be the victim, and I want to feel sorry for myself. Honestly, though, when it comes down to it, I have no reason to. I have so many, MANY things to be thankful for, including my husband. We argue because he gets a certain tone with me, or calls me out on playing on my phone or watching a dumb show instead of doing something productive at home, and he has every right to. At the time, however, I am certain I have a reason to be hurt or upset, and I lash out. My husband works so hard for us, at a job that is not (or even close to) his dream job. I get to do exactly what I want to do, which is stay home and raise our daughter. Do you blame him for being a teensy bit annoyed that I didn't find time to fold that laundry? Nope. I read a scripture the other day about working for the Lord and not for human masters, and I should be. I should be showing my gratitude to not only Bobby, but more importantly to God for blessing me with this opportunity to be at home. It's not a bad thing to feel blessed and to shower your hard working husband with love and gratitude. It's not a bad thing to love being at home taking care of your family. Society has everything so backwards; stay at home moms are seen as these depressed, deprived, individuals when in all reality, we are (at least I am) on cloud nine! I truly love my days with my little girl. Being a housewife, however, I am trying to love. I am trying because my husband deserves my best. He gives us his best every day and every night (at work). I am not a great cook, I surely don't like to clean (who does?), and my decorating skills are pretty non existent. All he wants is my best effort; all he wants is to see that I care. Not just about Elena (that's obvious), but about him. Bobby's way to show love is through actions, and so by me giving this housewife gig my best effort, I am showing him that I love and appreciate him. It doesn't take much to make him happy, really. I'm just spoiled rotten. ;) I vacuumed, cleaned up Elena's playroom, cleaned the kitchen/dishes, cleaned our spare bathroom, and made his favorite dinner and he was elated. He bathed Elena that night because I "worked so hard and deserved to relax". He's a great guy, and I know guys like Bobby are rare. I also know that I'm a lot to handle, but he loves me and wants me to be happy. That in itself deserves a fabulous housewife. I'm working on it!


The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.Proverbs 31:11-31